This blog post may sound odd for anyone with a traditional mindset, while those with unconventional approaches will view energy flow and exchange as commonplace. Regardless of whether we choose to accept the concept of energetic connections, it remains a hot topic. In the past, I found the concept a bit too radical for my liking. That said, I now view it through a different lens, noting that it is a well-accepted phenomenon. Energy is something that always surrounds us. We each have a personal energetic field, which is part of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual being. Every connection has either a positive or negative influence on our lives. The key is to understand what that means as we look closer at the energy of relationships and why it matters.
I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
TUNING INTO VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCY IS A THING
Back in the day, a friend devoted a lot of her time and attention to study how energy influences relationships. Those who met her for the first time drew certain assumptions. Regardless of how people viewed her, she insisted, the main reason for her inability to connect with everyone was because of her ability to tune in. Whenever she’d talk about anything to do with energy and relationships in the same breath, we’d all cringe. With quizzical expressions, we confessed it was far-fetched nonsense. Honestly, who paid attention? Did anyone ever consider the energy of the relationships they were in, taking into account why it even matters? No. Most of us did not.
Whenever I introduced her to anyone I was interested in, she would quip, “He’s not the one for you.” In no time flat, she completed a full appraisal of the person’s character, motives, and intentions. I’d roll my eyes, continuing on my merry way. In hindsight, time and time again, she proved to be right. To this day, I’m reminded of what I’ve dodged over the years. But if I were to be completely honest, in some respects, I heeded her advice more than I let on. After only but a brief time dating some of these guys, a few quickly found themselves in the friend zone, while others were tagged acquaintance. Thankfully, I paid attention. And that is my first tip: Pay attention to everything, the big things, little things, and everything in-between.
THE ENERGY OF RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY IT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED BECAUSE IN THE END IT REALLY MATTERS
Fast-track, many moons later, everyone in my social circle conceded. All that blather about energy in relationships and energetic connections wasn’t foolish after all. We realized it held relevance. For starters, this vital force is part and parcel of all things, places, situations, and events, which includes every type of relationship we encounter. All you have to do is walk into the room and immediately you can feel what it’s telling you. What is that? Energy. Every space and every person has a way of influencing how we feel.
THERE’S BOTH GOOD AND BAD ENERGY
“Remember so and so, I spotted him again with someone new!” I’d raise my brows, acknowledging my friend’s gift. She had him pegged years ago. The type of guy who changed girlfriends as often as he changed his toothbrush (once every three months or so) – the bar hopping, dating-site-dude. The kind of guy that would never be classified beyond a mere acquaintance. Would they change? Who knows? Time is precious, so why would anyone waste it on someone who has a nasty reputation for being a notorious player? This is a good example of one who embodies extremely loud energy and who we have no qualms of shying away from.
Energy is contagious, positive and negative alike. I will forever be mindful of what and who I am allowing into my space.
NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BAR HOPPING OR DATING SITES, BUT… LET’S BE FRANK
There are people who live on these sites, trolling, dating multiple people at the same time. No different from those bar hoppers who show up like clockwork, working the room. Years go by and these characters resurface as a reminder of just how fortunate we were. Seriously, we dodged these so-called relationships, which I like to refer to as situationships. Time passes, and you discover the true nature of who they were. The ones preoccupied with dating sites, a habit apparently hard to break, set on a perpetual rinse and repeat cycle. These are the same people who informed us of everyone who ever caught their lustful eye. How many?! Lost count. Did we really need to know this? No. No, we didn’t. Nevertheless, the info served us well.
WHAT?! DIDN’T RECEIVE THE MEMO?
Now, the question you could have asked, “Was this during the time we dated or after?” With hindsight, you got the answer. Signed, sealed, delivered. This morsel of truth came tumbling in well after the separation… many, many years later. “It was before, during, and after,” your higher self acknowledges after but a few insightful conversations with said person. Scary, I know. But this is what’s lurking out there. Energy – good, bad, ugly… exists. Just saying.
FIRST PIECE OF ADVICE – AWARENESS… PAY ATTENTION
Energetic forces are always at play, and there’s always a motivating force behind every breakup. Perhaps what you wanted to say, “You broke my heart, you sneaky, sneak.” Okay, you wanted to use more colorful language, but didn’t. Good for you. Instead, you kept your cool and tactfully stated what you had to say. And as you reminisce about the good times, perhaps you reconsider. Really? This is where I have to put in my two cents for what it’s worth. “Dear, dear friend, please reassess the energy of that connection.” That’s the biggest piece of advice I can give, and the reason for the super long blog post.
SECOND PIECE OF ADVICE – JUST LET IT GO AND KEEP IT MOVING
Now, this pertains not only to love, it can be with anyone you know or encounter. Get honest, ask yourself: Is this relationship a sweet connection? Is it? Or… are you haphazardly surfing emotional tidal waves, thinking all is well when it isn’t? Is the relationship moving in a positive, consistent, and steady manner? Happily, lovingly, joyfully, peacefully? You hit it off. Now what?
SHOW GRATITUDE FOR THE BELLS AND WHISTLES
BUT DON’T RULE OUT THOSE GLARING SIGNS, SIGNALS, AND BLAZING RED FLAGS
Stay tuned-in to the way you feel during the time together. Is conversing easy or is it awkward? Are you feeling at ease in their presence or is nervous energy rearing its ugly head? If uptight or tense, it may mean we need to learn how to relax and go with the flow, or… admit there’s an elephant in the room. Something so energetically present, yet, the tendency is to jump to denial rather than to attention. And that is how this energy works… its blatant and obvious without a doubt. In other words, it’s in your face – trust it.
SHADY PEOPLE EXIST – SAD FACT
What about their friends and family? Can you chill with those they hang out with, or are you having a hard time connecting? Energy within the group is just as important, and group dynamics are something we shouldn’t devalue. It’s back to that inkling, intuitively speaking, and it lives within every question that rises to the occasion, ever so subtly breaking the surface, asking why you feel so guarded. If you can’t seem to relax while dating a specific person, ask why. Those spidey-senses are telling you something’s amiss, and your intuitive nature is tapping into those things you must pay closer attention to. I’m telling you, what you need to know about energy and relationships is that the energy will speak volumes.
ENERGETIC SHIFT, PULL, LOSS
Feeling uneasy is indeed a telltale sign the person may not be the right choice. They may be attractive in so many ways, but dang it, it just will not work. We know it because we feel it slipping… energetically. When we’re tuned in, we can also tune out. But this is you, on top of your game. If someone isn’t suitable, wouldn’t it be in your best interest to pick up on this sooner rather than later? When someone isn’t quite the one, we often sense an energetic shift, followed by an energetic pull just prior to an energetic loss. See what I mean? A lot of energy influencing what is actually taking place.
HERE IT IS IN A NUTSHELL…
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN IT COMES TO THE ENERGY OF RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY IT MATTERS MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW
Okay, I have to put this out there because it exists. Sometimes these situations leave a lasting impression. More so, our energy can get tied up, likened to a soul-tie connection. This sucks. Not only is this situation similar to that of an energy vampire, but it’s also extremely detrimental to one’s personal freedom. Even if there was an attraction, once you’re aware of how this energy works, dating such a person will more often than not go nowhere fast (here’s hoping). If so, just know this… what you thought to be a match – isn’t, and that’s okay. Look on the bright side, you have gained relevant informal education. Stuff they don’t teach in school. Who knew?
SUPERCHARGED FOR BETTER
I get it. We all want to experience a spark, but we also want it to last. We look great, feel great, but want to attract better. With that said, it’s easy to get lost in something that isn’t right, especially if you aren’t quite comfortable with that little voice within. Trust you, trust the experience, and every intuitive moment. This is instinctive insights paying unexpected visits. When you are with a specific person, what does the energy feel like? Go there. If it feels special, great! If it doesn’t, it just means it’s time to mosey on.
There are always energetic forces and it will be apparent when together or apart. Tap into this vibe and you will soon learn how to read between the lines, saving you time, energy, and heartache down the road. Are you feeling apprehensive? Anxious? Nervous? Why? Pay attention, take a time out to go within, and assess the situation. What’s the feedback? Does it feel good or bad? The key is to stay alert and be mindful of the energy.
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