Whom to date takes on a whole new meaning given time. Perhaps what you believed something was, clearly, wasn’t. Maybe whatever you thought you had, you didn’t. It could be you’re facing a choice: to stay, to go, to resume where you had left off with someone. Do you go back or do you continue forward? How will you know you’re choosing right? There are things to consider and points to ponder when choosing whom to date, and it begins with Carrie’s quote below.
There’s going to be enough average things in your life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.
The thing is, we will remember the good, the bad, and the ugly of whatever something was, but seldom do we pay attention to what lies between good-bad-ugly. Those fleeting moments that have us questioning something. The signs are always there and it’s up to us to pay attention. Perhaps there were things we neglected to notice, or just maybe, we took note, but we weren’t ready to deal with what it entailed. The situations we didn’t initially grasp because something remained hidden somewhere in that awkward in-between phase. Perhaps you find yourself lost in the haze, suspended in a state of confusion. Maybe you experienced something lost in translation – misinterpreted and misunderstood. And then there’s discovering something only with the passage of time. With hindsight, reiterating those famous last words, if I only knew then what I know now.
FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU…
FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME
By choosing to return to anyone with a terrible track record, you can expect the same events to unfold. And who wants to go there? Hopefully, no one. Especially those who read this blog. When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. Reread the last sentence until it sticks like crazy glue. Bottom line is you asking yourself why you’d even consider wasting your time on the wrong person when it only prevents you from meeting the right one.
POINTS TO REFLECT ON WHEN CHOOSING WHOM TO DATE
Looking back, there were far too many things that just didn’t add up. That’s great! At least you’re finally seeing something for what it was. These are all those things we should be mindful of. If you’re in that should have done this, could have done that phase, stop it. Recognition of what took place is the first step, gaining insight into what and why it happened is the second step. And the third step is about you, happy, confident, and content with where you are. My advice would be to forget what was, stop looking back, and start looking forward. Paying more attention to the selection process will help you redirect your attraction from what was to what can be.
Here are a few viable questions to ask yourself when choosing whom to date:
- Do I only focus on someone’s looks, or am I also attentive to their actions?
- Is this person good for me in the now, or are they someone I can grow with?
- Do they provide a clear signal where this connection is headed, or is their communicative style evasive?
- Am I the only one in this story, or is there a plethora of secrets hiding in the shadows?
- Can I trust them, or are they out playing the field, engaging with everyone that catches their eye?
- Are they the type of person who’s into collecting phone numbers?
- Is this person being sly on the side?
- Are they keeping all of their options open?
- Could it be they’re simply an opportunist?
- Do they have tendencies to juggle, and if so, are they upfront with me?
- Do they sidestep questions?
- Is it forgetfulness, or do they have a nasty habit of pulling a disappearing act? Missed dates, missed calls, missed texts?
- Am I in the know, or am I having to drive through Hazyville only to arrive at Confusionville?
ALWAYS STAY TUNED IN
Pay attention to those intuitive hits. A hunch may very well be a warning to drop the baggage, travel light, and head in a new direction. Whenever you neglect to consider your future, it can lead to ignoring the risks of an unhealthy relationship. You can avoid potential pitfalls by being mindful and staying true to you, believing you deserve better.
As you tune in to what feels right, you don’t have to fret over why something went oh so wrong. Something or someone right will never feel wrong. What’s right stays, what’s wrong goes. The right person will be the one who invests in you. It’s someone authentic, thoughtful, and caring. Choose the one who knows your value and will treat you with the utmost respect. They are ever patient, kind, and honest, all positive traits a love doctor will prescribe. These are the essential qualities we should look for.
CHOICES CHOICES CHOICES
When careless in choosing whom to date, it’s here, you lose sight by getting involved too soon, mistaking a connection. Stay in a not so great situation and you will forget what a good relationship looks like, feels like… is. It’s easy to get lost in someone’s game. It’s not just about losing your way, but also losing your sense of self in a supposed relationship. Perhaps even losing track of time. Before you know it, one year can turn into ten. And time, my friend, is worth more than gold.
Who doesn’t desire a relationship whereby we can gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes and express just how lucky we are? We could all find ourselves in this space if we are cautious when choosing whom to date.