A former colleague invited me to afternoon tea at a quaint cafe to catch-up on news. It was fun to learn who retired, who left the organization just because, and who was promoted. However, the lighthearted conversation switched a track when she revealed someone criticized her for simply being who she was. I really wanted to lift her spirits so I said, “Just be you, your carefree self and stop listening to those who expect anything different.” Why do so many struggle to appease others by changing who they are?
About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.
What a difficult place to be when challenged to alter our personality, character, temperament, or makeup. Tom expects you to be one way while June expects you to be someone else. Let’s not forget mom and who she expects you to be, then there’s cousin Eddie and Aunt Wilma. The list can go on and on. If we try pleasing everyone by being someone we’re not, we end up forgetting who we really are.
LIVE THE LIFE YOU LEAD, JUST AS YOU ARE
When having to conform to someone’s expectation of who you should be, there’s the likelihood of moving further from your true nature. This only signals a lack of acceptance whenever someone forces us to be someone other than who we are. We show love when we sincerely accept everyone just as they are. Only then will relationships succeed. Our heart has a way of imparting meaningful messages especially if we don’t fit in. We know when we are being treated unfairly, and we also know when we are judged harshly. To cope, sometimes we hide the pain of knowing behind a smile.
ONE LIFE, ONE DISTINCT PATH
There’s one distinct path to follow, and that’s the authentic path. Be true to you. There will always be someone who has the need to judge. We can only manage and control ourselves not others. Perhaps one day the tables will turn, when those individuals who have a tendency to judge, will receive the wakeup call and learn the importance of treating others with kindness and respect. Then they will finally see things from a different perspective.
Sometimes the people who judged you, eventually apologize for their insensitivity. It’s great when we receive an apology; however, the situation becomes more unsettling when the unacceptable conduct continues after the umpteenth apology. Eventually, it will come to the point when one’s expression of regret will no longer carry any weight whatsoever. Trust is broken. What happens next is anybody’s guess.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
JUST BE YOU
It’s up to each of us to be our best, always coming from the place of love. Love never places unreasonable expectation or demand on others. When someone tells you to be, to look, to speak a certain way, and you don’t follow through, criticism will be sure to follow. That’s when you discover, sometimes loss is gain. When we move away from those who are disrespectful, we gain self-respect. Life is challenging as it is, without having to entertain these types of people. The key is to keep life simple.
Just be you. Life is short. To keep hanging out with anyone who practices criticism is unhealthy. We can only hold on to unpleasant friendships, bad relationships, or toxic situations for so long. It will not be easy but essential to let go. When true to yourself, believing life will change for the better, it will. It’s only when removing yourself from the bad storyline by refusing to settle in the uncomfortable place of conflict, you ultimately experience a place of peace.
You are responsible for just being who you are. You are accountable for being you and not responsible for who someone else believes you should be. When we stay true to who we are, we live happily in our truth.
Don’t let others box you into their idea of what they think you should be. A confined identity is a miserable way to exist. Be you and live free. Trust that in living true to yourself, you will attract people that support and love you, just as you are.