Telltale Signs of Nonverbal Communication|The Act of Ghosting

(PART 3 OF 3)

Is ghosting a heartless way to end something, or is it a way to avoid potential conflict? Could it be a way to protect one’s heart? Although ghosting isn’t a common practice, the scary part is it exists, happening more often than we’d care to admit. Usually, it’s not only those with communication issues, but those who are lacking emotional maturity that will practice ghosting tactics. Have you spotted a ghost? There are telltale signs.

Anyone emotionally immature is described as someone who’s irresponsible, unreliable, and thoughtless. It’s difficult to penetrate the facade they create. And in order to achieve a breakthrough within such an ego-driven relationship, well, let’s just say it will be highly unlikely. There’s always an ultimatum, which usually goes something like this: my way or the highway. This is where you will surely get lost in the dust storm they leave behind, and once it settles, you won’t know what happened. If ghosted, look on the bright side, be thankful for seeing someone’s true colors.

THERE ARE SEVERAL MOTIVES FOR GHOSTING, HERE ARE A FEW:

It was love at first sight; however, after a few dates or several, they lost interest. The sizzle, shall we say, became a fizzle.

Life and love happen. Someone stole their heart, so instead of being forthright, they did what they do best. They left without telling you.

Unrequited love left them dissatisfied and if anyone becomes disillusioned, they vanish without a trace. Expectations weren’t being met. While you required a commitment before getting super serious, they wanted to only experience the Egyptian Cotton.

The ghost sensed someone was moving on without them, so rather than share this fear, they beat them to the punch. Perhaps a defense strategy for protecting their heart without considering yours.

There’s no need to mention (or perhaps there is) someone’s poor interpersonal skills and intentional withdrawal. They preferred a simple way out, that being… disappear and eradicate contact.

Some are deceptive, capricious, and noncommittal. When they feel the heat, they will have the tendency to plant extra space between your heart and theirs. Simply because things are getting much too serious, especially when they still want to continue playing the field.

Sometimes we don’t win the heart of the one who had to get away. For whatever reason, they perceived us as being too serious, too fickle, too playful, too dull, too intimidating, too loud, or too quiet. Well, you get my drift. The list can get pretty long. The problem is they see us the way they see us and we can’t change that. After all, we are who we are. The key is finding the one. The one who accepts you just as you are. They are someone you can laugh with, cry with, and share everything in life with as they soften your heart. For all those souls ghosted, you just haven’t found the right one.

THE ART OF COMMUNICATION

When we man up, we show our maturity by being honest and communicative about how we feel or how we don’t. We not only honor social etiquette, but practice social grace.

We can tell when the flame just isn’t there. It’s important to be candid about your feelings from the get-go.

The key is an open dialogue at the beginning of any new connection. If there’s someone we still love but lost, we should state we need more time and a little space to heal. 

When love fades over time and there’s no more spark in the sparkle, we confess our hearts are no longer in it. The relationship no longer fits into the plans we have for the future.

When not interested in a lifetime partnership and just prefer an occasional dalliance, someone should express this before a relationship gets too serious. 

Unsure about someone? Let them know promptly and move on rather than keep them dangling on the edge of hope. 

TELLTALE SIGNS OF GHOSTING, AKA BREAKUP

If a person refuses to respond, rest assured, it’s a breakup. With love, we never give up easily, we don’t vanish, and we don’t airbrush ourselves out of a picture. We attain heartfelt communication. On the other hand, if a relationship is no longer working, we get succinct answers and regardless of how painful these responses may be, it’s the message or dialogue that helps us move on. Sometimes, we pick up on the charade a little too late. So it’s important to see the signs.

What are the signs? You expected a call, and the phone didn’t ring; when you showed up, but they didn’t; if you asked them to attend a special event, but they declined, these are signs. Telltale signs to just let go, and move on to someone who’s more interested in you. Their response was loud and clear; however, someone chose the “save function” over the delete key. Their actions, or lack of, is a precursor of what’s coming. Individuals most inclined to practice ghosting are the ones who haven’t grown up, haven’t honored etiquette and grace.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO LOVE THOSE TRUTHFUL, REVEALING, SIGNIFICANT… TELLTALE SIGNS

If this next statement is of any consolation… I read somewhere, it’s not you, it’s them. They are the ones with a problem. The stumbling blocks just happen to be integrity, communication, empathy, and genuine admiration. If they had difficulty conveying a breakup, imagine what else they were dishonest about during the relationship. Believe it or not, there were telltale signs. One sign that spoke these words to your heart, “Wait a minute, where is mutual trust and respect?” Which is the foundation of any healthy relationship. You just didn’t pick up on the vibes or perhaps did, but for whatever reason, feared the truth. I get it. Sometimes truth hurts. But wouldn’t it be better to know? Why not take your love and attract someone who deserves you?