Many moons ago, when I first started working in the corporate world, I experienced my share of the highs and lows. Years later, a movie came out depicting pretty much what I had gone through. I needed a reminder… so I watched the movie. A little reminder of what it means to be the ultimate, the best, the cat’s meow… purrfection. We can find the epitome of perfectionism in the movie The Devil Wears Prada, where perfection is the name of the game.
It isn’t a matter of meeting expectation, it’s more in line with exceeding it… always. Regardless of anyone’s viewpoint, we can still love those with high ideals and high expectations, amid the disruptive ultimatums. However, with that said, it doesn’t mean we have to continue on a relentless journey to success if it only brings unhappiness. Especially if burnout will be the inevitable outcome. A familiar metaphor of running the hamster wheel comes to mind. Doting on those we have no choice but to please. Spending countless hours with those who insist we exceed their lofty standards, always or else.
THE FACADE
We can separate ourselves, love these folks from a distance, and accept them for who they are. But this doesn’t mean we allow others to force us to change who we are. There’s always an alternate route one can take, far removed from discord and disharmony. Any place where there’s an imbalance will keep us in turmoil. While all we’re doing is trying wholeheartedly to fit in. Whenever having to strive to fit in, we end up molding and shaping ourselves into something we’re not, until we ultimately change who we really are. This is when you have to stop and ask, “Am I happy doing what I do?” Anyone who loves you, will see you’re not. They will see right through the facade, and even get a glimpse of your pain.
THE BACK SEAT
I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.
Why do we strive to exceed someone’s idea of perfection, their preconceived notion of what perfection means and costs? This is where we’re challenged to earn admiration, when all it does is create tension and stress. Warm approval, acceptance, and understanding is a two-way street. This is what separates the men from the boys or the leaders from the managers. As for any healthy relationship, respect is mutual. It’s never beneficial for anyone to find themselves steeped in toxicity, trying to earn love or appreciation, where there’s no compromise and little to no respect. It’s always here where borders and boundaries get crossed. And as the movie depicted, home life, work-life, mesh together blurring the lines, while your personal life takes a back seat.
The only way to find your way back from here, to the bliss you seek, is to locate the nearest exit after you learn what you needed to learn. It pays to know when to let go. No one ever has to stay in a place where they constantly feel threatened by someone’s perceived notion of what’s right or wrong. And once you take a long hard look down that long winding trail, lost, you realize all the sacrifices you have made. Sadly looking back on a love life that failed, and the friends who are no longer in the picture. You have to ask, was it worth it?
‘Perfection’ to me is, I walk away from a situation and say, ‘I did everything I could do right there. There was nothing more I could do.’ There was nothing else I could have done. I worked as hard as I possibly could have. That’s perfection.
PERFECTION ISN’T SOMETHING WE SIGN UP FOR
Whenever anything pulls you away from being your best, from feeling your best, from living your best, this will not serve you in the long run. Just remember, there will always be another job, a better relationship, or a mutual friendship that will honor respectful behavior at all times. Whenever forced to abide by ultimatums, we grow weary, finally realizing perfection wasn’t what we initially signed up for. What matters most is we did our best. And if that wasn’t acceptable, perhaps it wasn’t the right fit. The bottom line is we all have rights. The right to change our mind and move happily on to a better way of being, a better way of living, a better life.
Perfection does not exist – only God is perfect.