Given Half a Chance

There we were, two peas in a pod discussing work, love, and everything in between. What happens when we end up in a career or in some relationship where there are indicators we are where we shouldn’t be? We are unhappy and if things don’t change, something’s going to press on our better judgment. It will tell us to look at everything from a different angle. And when we change our way of thinking and look at other ways to reach a place of contentment and peace, something great happens. But, we lose touch with reality. We go through the motions, get lost in routines, get trapped in dogma, stuck in ideology, until we ultimately lose sight of the grand picture. But if given half a chance, we may not only recover but succeed at work, at play, with love.

WORK

Maybe you are a freelancer like me, who works on projects. And you just need a little more time to brainstorm to get things back on track. Perhaps you need objective feedback or some constructive criticism. It’s important you take a time-out to assess where you are in your career, and if something isn’t working for you, ask why. Perhaps it’s time to tweak something at work by introducing a new methodology. Can you change something up a notch? Are you working in the best way possible? 

PLAY

When you take a different approach, testing new methods and systems, you may even surprise yourself. Be persistent, but most importantly, never lose sight of your goals and what you strive to achieve. As Chevy Chase’s character said in the movie Caddy Shack, “Keep your eye on the ball.” The key is to redirect your focus to where you would rather be, then smack the ball in that direction. If it’s effective in the game of golf, why wouldn’t it get results in a career or in one’s love life?

LOVE

A colleague once said, “I believe we only have one chance at love.” I thought how sad. My response, “Are you kidding? With love there’s always new opportunities to meet new people.” We are too in love with love to just call it quits, shrivel into nothingness, to believe such a sentiment. We need to love and we need to be loved. Love is an important aspect of life, that’s why we make it such a priority, and why romance novels are flying off shelves.

Perhaps, you didn’t give love a chance when it presented itself. As soon as someone said something, did something, didn’t say, or didn’t do, you ran the other way. Communication breakdown followed, this is where two people didn’t come together, because they didn’t understand one another. They both simply stopped talking. When things get quiet, we get worried. Can we trust them? What are they not telling us? From here, the relationship goes nowhere, right for never, never land. It flies south for the winter never to return.

WE LEARN

Maybe someone broke your trust. Now you take the analytical/critical/judgmental approach. We put on a counselor hat and pretend we can fix it. Sometimes we are so focused on the love connection we lose sight of what a relationship means. Our concerns force us to take a closer look into those questionable connections. But most of the time, we look at the other person and say, “What’s the matter with you?” Knowing full well, it’s a two-way street. At times, we want to surrender and give in to what can be, but we are skeptical about whether it will work. Nothing is perfect and relationships fall short, leaving you to wonder if someone is mature enough to handle any relationship let alone a relationship with you. 

DENIAL

Who someone was or wasn’t, is who you didn’t need. And who they thought you were or weren’t, is what they didn’t want. Two ships sailing in opposite directions right from the start. If you weren’t forthright with them and they weren’t forthright with you, therein lies the problem. Eventually, both parties get lost in a charade until someone stops playing the game. In hindsight, we have a tendency to overanalyze until we lose touch with reality. The people we are, just continue to hide behind a mask, living in denial. And for whatever reason, we refuse to listen to our heart, believing this is how we protect ourselves.

GIVEN HALF A CHANCE… WE SUCCEED

If we are to appreciate what a healthy workplace and loving relationship is, we first take the time to nurture it. Sadly, what we end up doing is run away from something we may have misinterpreted. If there’s nothing but conflict, so be it, leaving may be a good option. After all, who wants to stay where there are nothing but disagreements? Whenever there’s incompatibility, no one experiences peace. It’s useless to stay in this space for an extended period. The key is to learn the lesson and move on. Everyone’s make-up is different, some can tolerate more than others. And then there are those who side with caution, willing to free themselves from any relationship or job that may have worked if given half a chance.