Relationships Can’t Be Forced

Relationships can’t be forced, but they can be nurtured in time, with patience and understanding. Do you have strong feelings? Has someone crossed a line? Have you crossed the line? What happens if we were to believe there’s nothing we can do? Then that’s exactly what will happen. Nothing. But we can do something. The thing is, we get in our way by setting up boundaries and limitations. Why do we do this? Perhaps it’s time to get real with ourselves.

Time to ask some pertinent questions to help solve this dilemma. What’s not working? Why? And what has to change? The problem is we wait. We wait for things to happen, and what happens? Nothing. So why wait? Find out for yourself, whether a relationship is the right relationship.

EXERCISING THE WHAT-IFS

The what ifs will always surface. What if it doesn’t work out? What if my ego gets bruised? Ok granted, but what if we do everything it takes to get something back on track? What if we expressed what we want and need, and how we feel? Maybe something great will take it’s rightful place, maybe not.

We have no choice but to communicate, yet, we have a problem in this arena. We have trouble relaying what it is we feel. What if we were to open up and express what we need to express? Just maybe something will take a turn. Ok, this is where it can get a little complicated. Because we don’t know the outcome. We don’t know whether a relationship will take a turn for the worse or move in a positive direction. And this is where we have to leave it to chance. We do what we can, say what we mean, hope for the best, then leave it to fate.

If you have to beg someone to be in your life, they don’t belong there.

Mandy Hale

A MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP IS A HEALTHY CONNECTION

It takes two people to want the relationship to work. Two to tango, as the saying goes. But the thing is, we have so much on our minds and sometimes have trouble revealing what we need to communicate. Hoping and wishing will do nothing in getting an issue resolved. Long story short, nothing works out if two people don’t attempt to make it work.

We start with internal issues before we can fix something externally. That said, we need to resist building mental roadblocks. Blocking any form of communication serves no purpose other than keeping a relationship at bay. The key is to open up dialogue and avoid focusing on what someone said or did. Visualize a positive outcome. We spend way too much time stuck on the negative aspects. The thing is, if the relationship is too negative to begin with, and bending toward toxicity, why are we spending time rehashing what didn’t go well? Or why bother righting a wrong when the wrong we’re trying to right isn’t right for us.

You can’t force love. It’s there, or it isn’t. If it’s not there, you’ve got to admit it. If it is there, you’ve got to do whatever it takes.

Richelle Mead

CHANGE

Changes come about when you take the initiative. When you take a chance, perhaps a risk. When you accept your share of the responsibility and are accountable for your actions. Only then can you experience a breakthrough moment. You can now look at things from a broader perspective. And if you get caught up in those undesirable feelings, harboring negativity, then you need to change the way you view the connection. You need to believe in the relationship. Because if you don’t, you will just end up unhappy trying to force something into existence.

There will come a time when you will appreciate a new beginning, whether with this person who weighs heavily on your mind or with someone new. Love comes, and love goes, but through it all, when we stand in confidence, believing something better can and will happen, it usually does. We decide who we want to share our lives with.

NOT ON THE SAME PAGE?

Everyone needs and wants some form of recognition. Recognition takes place once we’re successful at achieving something personal, whether it’s a desire, a wish, or a dream. Or when we’re truly loved, appreciated, and accepted for who we are. When we remain focused on what it is we want, intent on achieving it, and work toward it, we succeed. But… two people need to be on the same page. A relationship will never work if one person is wanting it more than the other.

A forced love will never last, never beg to be loved.

Pinaki Nayak

Everyone deserves the best, a stable and loving relationship, a dynamic partnership, a happier life. Now, who doesn’t want a happy life? If we refuse to let go of what was, we won’t be able to move toward what could be. Sadly, we refuse to let the chips fall where they may because we spend too much time trying to control situations we have no control over. You have no control over another person’s feelings. If you demand someone love you the way you need to be loved, you will only end up stuck in a perpetual state of my way or the highway. Which isn’t beneficial for any connection let alone a loving relationship. What’s important to note, in every moment there’s an opportunity to do what we can without forcing some storyline.

CREATE A BETTER STORY

Instead of backtracking, why not explore new options? Better options. Why bother to look back? The only time we should ever look back is to acknowledge a life lesson so we won’t repeat the same mistakes. Or to look back on an accomplishment so we can remove the doubt and fear to garner confidence. If something is meant to be, it will. If it isn’t, it won’t.

Just know you deserve love, respect, and happiness. When you respect who you are, work with what you have, and know where you stand, you won’t end up tripping over the insignificant things in life. Look forward to what’s meaningful to you and to what carries relevance. Focus on your passions and center your attention on all those things you love. And what happens? You build a better love story because you are creating a better life.