Why Keep Attracting the Wrong People | Avoiding the Rebound

As you read this blog post, I would like for you to focus on you. Not on your relationships, on what happened, or didn’t happen. I want to stress the importance of understanding what you value and why, before you even consider or reconsider a relationship or a situationship. This way we won’t keep attracting the wrong people.

It’s important we value ourselves first, knowing we deserve love, so after something ends we have a clear understanding. This insight will only take effect when we take a time-out to lean into self-respect. And as difficult as it may be to be on your own for the time being, especially after a breakup, it will be the most important thing you can do. Rebound relationships don’t work.

The problem is we’re quick to run from one relationship to another without having a pause in-between. A time-out to reflect on what went wrong and why. What part we were responsible for, and what role the other party played. Without giving the healing process a chance, we lose out on attracting someone better. Someone in tune with our personality type, who complements our lifestyle. 

Are there certain aspects, characteristics, and mannerisms which someone needs to possess? There could be leftover beliefs, emotions, and experiences from a previous relationship, which need to surface so we can release them. Time of healing is vital if we are to attract a healthy, warmhearted, and satisfying love life. The right person is one who can tick all the relevant points and who checks off all the right boxes.

AVOIDING THE REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS

The thing is, we face challenges to be coupled. Influenced by the moon, the stars, the planets, and even by aunt Martha’s remarks. But space is what we need, regardless of those around us who insinuate it’s wrong to be alone. The alone time is valuable as it permits us to clear the space to allow what we truly desire and deserve. First, there’s a need to heal some aspect of why we continue to attract the wrong people. 

When we for example: refuse to release certain beliefs and impressions of the one we once dated, the memory alone could hold us back indefinitely. This energy will keep us from attracting real love, true love in present time, and keep us hooked on some infatuation or entanglement of the past. We get stuck in a space of what once was rather than a space of what could be. Stuck in the past is a big faux pas. The energy we place on someone we are no longer with will only keep us emotionally trapped where we shouldn’t be. 

Not only are we fixated on what took place, but we sadly end up repeating the same old patterns. Somehow we inadvertently lean on autopilot. Perhaps not intentionally. Ok, just maybe it was deliberate. However, all we have to do is flip the switch to take back control. Careful with how we spend our time and aware of what we are reflecting on. 

ATTRACTING THE WRONG PEOPLE

When we take a break from dating, we have this time to ourselves to heal. So we can understand those finer aspects of what needs fine-tuning. Because without this personal interlude we end up going through the same old motions, incapable of altering a pattern we have a tendency to slip into. Here we only attract the same people, the wrong people, the type of partner we don’t need.