Bad Advice – Down The Rabbit Hole

How many of us receive bad advice? Perhaps we didn’t even ask for someone’s input, but there it was, smugly delivered. Should you take it or should you keep it moving? The key is to not commit to any advice until you’ve done your homework.

Alice in Wonderland: “From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole, I’ve been told what I must do and who I must be.”

“Just give up,” she said with a smirk. “If I give up and walk away, I lose,” he answered. “No,” she replied, “you win.”

Let’s get real. If inclined to just give up, what happens? Nothing. Nothing happens. Follow poor advice and before you know it, you quickly learn a hard lesson. With good advice, there’s a chance you win, but with bad advice, not the case. Everyone loses. I’d rather win. Wouldn’t you? 

How you decipher if the advice is bad will depend on how well you process information. Have you shared all the details with the said party, and have they asked the right questions? Do you intently listen to what’s being said and question what you don’t understand? Last but not least, can you read between the lines? Those ever subtle cues, clues, and fleeting innuendos can have you traipsing down an unfamiliar alley. Sounds seedy, right? Right. Let’s get on with it then.

CHOOSE RIGHT, FINE… CHOOSE WRONG, UH-OH

There’s more to all of this than to follow a wrong path, only to end up in the wrong space. We need to be quite clear on where a path leads. Looking beyond where we are starts the process. It’s not a confidant’s role to decide what’s best for us. It’s our responsibility to weigh the pros and cons before we decide what advice to accept, if any. Before leaping into uncharted territory, it’s vital to focus on what’s right for you. Asking someone for advice isn’t bad, as long as you’re just fishing for contribution on the matter. However, it’s important to not let feedback alone become the one and only answer. This is where what you decide plays a pivotal role. Those unintended consequences were based on those key decisions.

CHOICES DETERMINE DESTINY

Why we get all caught up with what someone implies is beyond me. This can set you off track, stuck in negative cycles, consumed with all the meaningless fluff in circulation. Even giving attention to everything that’s just plain wrong for you and for anyone who cares about what’s going down. By getting lost in someone’s ideology, even if it’s “their truth,” can be quite misleading. Any misinformation leads to more negative energy, not only impacting the way we think, but becoming a stronghold if we aren’t careful. Within time, it becomes a root to most, if not all, of those controversial aspects, from familial drama to social issues to workplace toxicity. Yes, hard to believe something of this nature could have such an impact. This is how invasive terrible guidance can get. 

DO YOUR HOMEWORK… WHAT HOMEWORK?

The answer will always settle between right and wrong. So it’s your responsibility to do the work. Search for several opinions. This includes considering the one you hold within, the one you already know, but fail to accept. Keep in mind all those things that make you comfortable versus uncomfortable, peaceful versus ill at ease, as well as what carries joy versus what instigates more misery. If you just believe what someone tells you, the feedback may not be as accurate as you’d wish, or a point of view may not serve or benefit you. 

When taking any advice at face value, we may head in another sketchy direction altogether. Perhaps now will be the time to get down to the nitty-gritty. Search for your own answers. Work from a place of trust, trusting you, your heart, and the guidance within. Those intuitive moments never lead us astray. When something looks wrong, feels wrong, sounds wrong, it’s wrong. Tada situation solved. But let’s not get carried away and devalue advice altogether.

When we value and respect what we believe, how we feel, we don’t give just anyone the right to downgrade a dream, minimize a purpose, or jeopardize our future. How can we make sound decisions when we’re so overzealous by the advice from those who pretend to have all the answers? By the way, some advisers are just as lost, if not more so. Regardless, get input, but do your part. Flesh out value and leave the rest. To do this, ask the right questions, and seek answers from several reliable sources, not just one. 

THERE’S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR HAVING FAITH, ESPECIALLY AFTER FALLING PREY TO BAD ADVICE

Now, you may not be a believer, but having confidence in God could be the only answer. Sometimes petitioning God to step in (aka prayer) will be all it takes. With the use of these simple words and an open heart, say…

 “God, I need your help. I don’t know what to do.” 

Believe the answer is on its way. Take some alone time. In solitude, immerse yourself in the word, follow it up with brief silence. I usually do this right before my head hits my pillow. It’s amazing how well it works. In no time, I either have the answer or a partial solution. This is a miracle of life, the faithfulness of God, valuing us beyond measure. By the way, God doesn’t want you to just wait, you’re expected to do something. Doing nothing, just as it implies, does nothing.

WHEN ADVICE IS BAD ADVICE

Your life is a gift to be treated as a precious gem. Love it, nurture and enjoy it. What you decide to do can lead to peace and contentment, or it can lead to more conflict and confusion. And this, my friend, is key… you feel at peace when something is right for you. If it’s wrong, you know.

We learn, we grow, to prosper. It starts with doing what’s agreeable for you and for those you love, so you can live a peaceful, happy, fulfilled life. As far as terrible advice goes, you know it because it doesn’t sit right. And if that’s the case, be the kicker, just imagine the “opinion” is nothing but a soccer ball. Kick it fast, kick it hard, and kick it high, out of sight, out of mind. Do it right. With bad advice, just chalk it up to what it isn’t. Take it with a grain of salt and mosey along on track to scoring a genuine victory.