Connecting a Connection

Let’s get into it and delve into the world of connecting. After all, meeting the right person and building a relationship isn’t an easy endeavor. To socialize is one thing, but to connect is a whole other ball game. Someone who can’t get beyond being single may wish it were easier. Even if they’re appealing in so many ways, they may still have a hard time connecting a connection. And may even find it much easier to get sidetracked, off track, or outright derailed. Know of anyone like this? It doesn’t help when they keep repeating the infamous two-liner that goes something like this: “Why can’t I meet the right person?” “Maybe they don’t even exist.” 

Of course they exist. The key is to focus more on being you, not on who is or isn’t out there. Be your productive self, stay active, stay motivated, get out and circulate. Rather than placing all of your attention on the state of being unhappily single, shift your thinking. While you’re busy making your life interesting and meaningful, someone is bound to take note. Connecting a connection may not be easy, but it becomes less of a concern when you just pay less attention to what you don’t have and more attention to what you do have. Just go with the flow and live life.

WHAT DOES THE PAST HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

Whenever we overthink, we may overanalyze every situation we’ve ever encountered. It’s possible to keep telling stories about the challenges of relationship failures to anyone who will listen. Stories can be like a bad habit hard to break, one that takes on a life force of its own because it’s believable. This is where we get lost, living in some concocted tale. Not only missing out on opportunities, but missing out on meeting those well-adjusted, well-intentioned admirers. Sad part is, you won’t even notice when they’re in the same room. Just saying. Whenever we look to the past, we have the tendency to get lost there until we lose out, because that’s where we get stuck. Perhaps we even cheat ourselves, thinking such a loss is okay. A rite of passage. Seriously? Let’s get real… not in this scenario.

CONNECTING A CONNECTION WON’T BE EASY IF…

I get it, we’re cautious. Sometimes we’ve been out of circulation for what seems like forever and a day. It isn’t easy to put yourself out there, where there are far too many unknowns. Once bitten, twice shy, as the saying goes. But how are we to meet anyone if we don’t leave the house, or if we refuse to get out of our comfort zone? 

Perhaps deep down we’re simply not ready. This is when doubts ever so subtle enter the picture. This leaves us questioning whether we’re just fooling ourselves into thinking there could be someone out there just for us. And is there even such a thing as the right person? How will I meet them? And when I do – will I know? Is this a pipe dream? If this is how you operate, it will reflect not only through your actions, but with your mannerisms, demeanor, and behavior. What you convince yourself of and what you accept as your lot in life will become what you wholeheartedly believe as the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Which I might add, such a sworn testimony will only further complicate matters. Not only in love, but in life. There’s that.

AGEISM – STOP IT

Some of us pay way too much attention to age. By thirty, I have to have one or two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. We feel as though we’re on some hot seat, having to move fast or we’ll end up alone. Or taking even a longer time out, believing we’re too old, somewhere past prime. Okay, let’s sit in this a while. What if the age factor comes into play? “I’m too old,” you say. “Hogwash,” I say. Age doesn’t matter in matters of love. Love never, ever grows old, it’s ageless. 

Some find partners early in life and others find the love of their lives well into their senior years. I know this firsthand. Not everyone marries their high school or college sweetheart. For example, a dear friend met his one and only when he was sixty-six. One of my neighbors met the love of her life on her seventy-eighth birthday. I tell you, love is love, and it’s out there. So whatever you do, never, ever give up.

SWEET LOVE | LOVE PROMISES

Love is the ultimate reward, yet it can be quite a sensitive topic for those who are metaphorically dying to meet someone they can share a life with. Now, let’s not kid ourselves. For some singles, the subject of attraction alone can leave them bewildered. Just when they think they’re doing and saying all the right things, they still find they are missing out. This is where those searching, face that challenging conundrum of giving up too soon… or worse, giving up on love altogether. When the key is to live in a state of bliss regardless of where you are in life and while doing so, sooner or later, you’ll meet someone who takes an avid interest in the person you become. It’s really you living your best life, being your best self, and with time, ultimately, attracting the best person.