I don’t know about you, but I had my share of friendships and relationships which bordered on narcissism. This is where the definition of self-love has a whole new meaning. I recall the first time I saw the movie Something Borrowed, where one friend always gave while the other always took. An unbalanced relationship construed as a best friend, that wasn’t. The movie resonated and over the years it’s my go-to flick when I need a reminder. The thing is, if we know we are dealing with dysfunctional relationships, why do we adamantly deny it?
Unfortunately, a dysfunctional relationship is like a ticking time bomb, which will require those who seek happiness to confront the issue. Not only the issue between the two people but the issue within oneself. And if we achieve no satisfaction in resolving the issue, then eventually someone will have to bale out of the relationship. But it doesn’t end there because we require closure.
You cannot fix people who will not take feedback, because from their perspective, they do not have a problem.
DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED
It’s difficult to dismiss what we feel about the friendship or relationship when it’s dysfunctional. We like to believe we can make it right. However, sometimes it becomes complicated. Can someone continue taking an avid part in whatever this so-called friendship or love life is when there’s nothing left? Narcissism is no joke. Perhaps it’s time to make it clear to not only the other party but to yourself. Ask, is this a healthy relationship when it’s so one-sided or when one person is left out and isn’t part of the equation? What if you removed yourself from the picture altogether? Will you be missed? When something is unfair, disrespectful, and inconsiderate, it sometimes leaves us with no choice but to leave without closure.
Perhaps it’s time to get serious and find out why you are giving more than receiving in return. When love is elusive and happiness is missing, discouragement moves in to persuade you to take another direction. If the heart is no longer in it, then it’s time to get on with life.
A DIFFICULT DECISION
When we expect a positive change in any relationship, but wait too long in a place of uncertainty, something will always come to a head. Your narcissistic friend may not know the relationship is about to end, but your other friends will. And everyone other than the one who spends a lot of time in self-absorption will know. Nevertheless, anyone who truly loves you will notice that the friendship is off- kilter. Deep down we all know when it’s time to let a dysfunctional relationship go. The key is making the difficult decision to move on.
A man who loves others based solely on how they make him feel, or what they do for him, is really not loving others at all — but loving only himself.