Into the Emotional Storm

This post was written after receiving the shocking news regarding the Humboldt Broncos incident that occurred April 6th of this year.

It comes without warning and spreads like a wildfire. At first the shock, followed by numbness. It’s here, we’re left to ask why. Why did this happen? Is there a reason or some purpose? They were here and now, never to see their smiling eyes and never to embrace their loving presence. Broken hearted we weep until there are no tears left. Tears of despair, of sorrow, of remorse – so many tears, leave us drowning in mourning. Pain we find overpowering and overwhelming, until we are cradled in the midst of the emotional storm, amid the darkness, lost in confusion and heartache.

SOME OF THE ANSWERS REST IN THE EYE OF THE STORM

Everyone enters a period of shock and sadness. This sadness is part of life. This challenge is a gap into the unknown. We just don’t have answers. This isn’t the time to understand the whys because this is a span of time when we have nothing but memories. Sometimes we’re held captive, imprisoned by the thoughts and crippled by emotion. There’s nowhere to go… but within. We’re left to reminisce and reflect. To capture some solitude and some semblance of peace. How do we enter calm when we demand answers? Answers that may never come.

Someday we’ll understand why one walked away, while another clings to life, and the one who left. Left us grieving. Perhaps within time we’ll receive answers. The answers that seemingly settle somewhere between life and death. The answer that will forever rest within each one of us, within our hearts, within the love we carry.

A flicker of hope is what remains – for a tear-free tomorrow. However, for now, we waver between hope and despair. Between the memories of happiness and the trial of agony. How can we crawl out of this pit of depression and move away from the emotional storm? It’s still too fresh, this raw pain. Pain we must go through. Pain that may last months, years, a lifetime.

What do we say to those who’ve lost loved ones? What can we say? There are no words. We can just be there and do whatever we can to make this time somewhat bearable for those whose sadness consumes them. The suffering, the grief, the anger becomes a process. This will take time, this time of healing.

STEPPING OUT OF THE EMOTIONAL STORM

There’s no alternative but to move away from the darkness into the light that brings us comfort. It’s a choice to focus on a brighter tomorrow, especially when we find ourselves trapped in these emotions.

To focus on nothing but darkness, we flounder, struggling with the dark night of the soul. We have to call on our faith. We decide whether we continue on the pathway of heartbreak, wallowing in a state of distress, or on a path that will allow for God to help us heal. No one can do this for us, for we all walk alone in our grief.

We light a candle and say a prayer. We do this for our souls, for what remains within our lives, for the ones who still have breath, and for those who are no longer with us.

CHOOSING TO FOCUS ON THE GIFTS

We know one thing. Life will never be the same. However, in this space we choose to stand in our courage, to step into faith, and reflect on what remains. The beauty of those countless moments shared with the one we loved and lost. We reflect on the joy they brought into our lives because that is a gift. The gift of experiencing a beautiful soul for such a brief time.

Life comes into the world alone, with love, light, breath, and life leaves the same way it came. We believe one day death will be conquered. One day, we will overcome the storms of life, believing, we will once again meet with those we’ve lost. Anything broken will be restored. Broken hearts, broken bonds, broken promises… mended, repaired, and renewed. One day, we will hold them in our arms and look deep within their smiling eyes. We will have a new appreciation for the gifts… the gift of life – the gift of love.