How will you Know it’s Love?

Love. What a beautiful word. How will you know it’s love? You’ll just know. It feels oh so right because it is. We know within three months. Six months we decide to go steady. One year and there’s the proposal. When it’s love, you’ll know. 

Two of my closest and dearest friends dated their guys for what seemed like forever and a day. Well into these relationships, things unraveled, and these two chaps were well on to someone new. It happens. It happens quick, and it happens more than we’d care to admit. Now, what I want to emphasize is that when these guys redirected their interests to someone new, they did not look back. Not even for a split second. In fact, both of them tied the knot. One of them within a year of dating, and the other a few months after the one-year anniversary! And because I love weddings, I graciously accepted their invitations and enjoyed the celebrations immensely (much to the chagrin of my girlfriends). When it’s love, they just knew. 

STUCK ON WHO?! WHEN IT’S LOVE YOU’LL KNOW

There’s something to be said for the traditionalists. They know love, act on it, and reserve it for their one and only. That is how they operate. It’s the guy who looks into your eyes, stating they want to spend a lifetime with you. How beautiful is that? It’s one of the most magical and memorable moments in life. The one who has your heart and you have theirs. When two people value one another, there’s nothing that compares. However, if that is the case, why are so many people stuck in bad relationships?

PARKED IN THE WRONG SPACE

With the majority parked in a space that doesn’t belong to them, they continue to collect nothing but parking tickets. These tickets are intuitive hits that one does nothing about. I believe it’s because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of moving out of that space, thinking there will be no other parking spot. Fear of ending up alone. AKA – bad thinking. The thing is, in life, we may get hurt. But when we go through the bad stuff, we learn, we grow, push past it, and come out stronger on the other side. When we’re not okay with being on our own, we’ll just go from relationship to relationship, wasting valuable time. Or getting stuck in the wrong relationship. Only to squander our time by dating wrong people because we didn’t take a time out to understand the valuable lessons that bad love teaches.

THE TIME FACTOR VERSUS THE CHOICE FACTOR

Time squandered or taken for granted isn’t pretty. There you are, perhaps in your senior years and still searching. Asking yourself where the time went. The time you never get back. While all of your friends are basking in marital bliss, showing you their pictures of the grandkids. And there you are, still stuck trying to figure things out, trying to find that one person who can check off all the right boxes. But let’s get real. There are those who have chosen this type of lifestyle. It’s ingrained in their genes. It’s their prerogative, just not yours. Right? You know your worth and you know your value. You’ve set your standards. This is where you thoughtfully weigh the options and draw the line in the sand.

THE CHRONIC DATER

Unfortunately, you may meet someone who’s into just dating for fun, for sport, for… fill in the blank. It isn’t ideal if someone you’re interested in constantly searches for someone who may or may not even exist. It’s like the idealist who’s always in search of something different, something more. Just another thing for those dating to consider. Once you sense it, witness it, just know – this isn’t your person. In other words… the wrong person. Move it along and keep it moving. The key is to not tie up too much of your time for someone who isn’t interested. When it’s love, they’ll know. You’ll know. Every one you know will know. It happens, and it will happen quick.

PLAYING WITH FIRE

One bad relationship after another may seem trivial to some, while daunting to most. We spot someone attractive, date them only to discover they did nothing but lie and indulge in a series of escapades. Catch my drift? Rather than jump into situations wholeheartedly, mindfulness is essential, being aware roamers and cheaters exist. Perhaps we need to ask ourselves what we are doing to attract these wolves in sheep’s clothing, and why we’d even consider entertaining such people? Maybe subconsciously, we enjoy playing with fire. And that is what it’s like whenever we date wrong people – we are literally playing with fire. I jest you not. Sometimes we don’t see this until it’s too late.

WISE DECISIONS VERSUS POOR CHOICES – HOW WILL YOU KNOW IT’S LOVE?

I know… it’s never easy to close the door on those you perhaps had high hopes of getting to know better. But keep in mind, you’ll thank yourself down the road when you find you have a better option, that one special person who changes everything, including your outlook. The only way to deal with a wrong person is to close the chapter. Distance yourself. Change your number, your address, or both. Tell them you’re moving to another state or, better yet, to another country. That should do it. Hopefully, it will dawn on them you knew who they were all along. Even though you played your cards close to your chest, a sense of peaceful contentment settled within you, affirming the wisdom of your choice to move on.

THE NEXT EXIT AFTER THE HARD TRUTH

It really is a big deal when you are on to someone right from the get go. However, with that said, most of us don’t always trust ourselves and may hold on to a connection well past its expiry. Perhaps thinking something will change if given a chance, multiple chances, or more time. At the end of a year, a decade, or what have you – you eventually learn some hard truth. Be it as it may, you are further ahead than you may realize. The key is to know the signs, and when these signs become beacons, my advice is to sprint not dally toward the nearest exit.

No one can change or control who someone else chooses or what they choose to do while dating you. You can only work at being the person who’s oh so worthy of far better. It’s undoubtedly you loving and knowing yourself well enough to say to yourself, perhaps saying to them, “You’re not the one for me.” And this will free up time on your calendar for someone who is. Not only that, it frees up that mental, emotional, and physical space. When it’s love, you’ll know. By shedding the light on the one who isn’t meant to be the one for you, you open yourself up to the love you desire and deserve.