Life is a continuous educational journey. Stuff happens, people change, and things go wrong, so it’s important to take the steps to overcome negative emotions. When we allow our emotions to take over our better judgment, we can elicit bad behavior. Unfortunately, a problem will occur if we don’t stay calm under pressure. We now have a choice to either remain untroubled or blow a gasket. Through every disruption, life has a way of teaching us valuable lessons. When mindful, we learn what we need to learn and move on to the next lesson. No different from when we were in school. Fail the lesson and you will have to repeat the subject.
The condition of your heart is reflected through the things you say and do. If you have an emotional outburst, sadly there will be someone on the other end who will receive the message loud and clear. At the other end of the phone, the other end of an email, or text, somewhere, someone will experience the wrath. All on account of someone letting emotions get the best of them. What happens next is no surprise. Sometimes a breakup occurs and every one knew why it happened except for the one who flew off the handle.
CONTROLLING THE EMOTIONS
“It was an unexpected breakup,” they whispered. But was it? The person tangoed with everyone’s feelings for far too long. Not only was someone left in a vulnerable state, nursing their wounds, but it also left them creating invisible walls, setting up boundaries around their hearts. What friendship, relationship, work situation, or familial bond would cause such a reckless disturbance? Life is short and is meant to be enjoyed peacefully, lovingly, and respectfully. So why do we wrestle only to dance with the same toxic emotions? Ask, “Is this healthy?” “Is this a good place to be for my overall well-being?” “Why am I stuck here?”
It’s important to note you can control those harmful emotions and keep them at bay. When you master your thoughts, you take charge of your feelings. Once you overcome those negative feelings, you avoid a host of conditions such as worry, fear, anxiety, depression, and sadness. The most important question to ask, “What am I thinking and why am I thinking this way?”
TIME TO TAKE CHARGE OF WHAT WE’RE THINKING
We have the tendency of getting lost in the traffic jam of negative emotion when we focus on things that bother us. What good will this serve, when lost in the shuffle of stuff we shouldn’t get lost in? Knowing it will only trigger more of the things we don’t want to go through. It’s imperative to focus on the good versus the bad. We get caught up in our heads, listening to false innuendos, trapped in negative cycles and patterns until we ultimately misunderstand what actually happened during the exchange. So what can we do? Well, for starters we can practice mindfulness. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do? What triggers negative responses? Perhaps it’s a person, place, or an event which brings out the worst. Question your role, and why you’re still in that workplace, with that person, group, in that place of discomfort.
Spending time with negative people can be the fastest way to ruin a good mood. Their pessimistic outlooks and gloomy attitude can decrease our motivation and change the way we feel. By allowing a negative person to dictate your emotions gives them too much power in your life. Make a conscious effort to choose your attitude.
WHAT’S DISTORTING OUR REALITY?
Sometimes our thoughts skew what’s real. Seriously, did you really see it dramatically unfold, or do you just feel and emotionalize something until it becomes your new reality? Everything we say or do is based on emotion. Our emotions can manifest undesirable situations. We have to consider we are in charge of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. In a nutshell, we are in charge of the lives we lead. We can distort the truth even when it blatantly faces us and challenges our every emotion. What we think can sometimes be far from the truth.
We can set the stage for conflict whenever we cross the line by using derogatory expressions and disrespectful behavior. This forces someone to create boundaries as a way of protecting themselves from future injury. We will never achieve closeness in any relationship by manipulating, controlling, and abusing others through the use of bullying tactics, on the contrary, respect is what builds solid relationships. Bad behavior only leads to breakdowns. A breakdown in communication, followed by a breakdown of a marriage, a family, friendship, or a team.
Emotions are one of the main things that derail communication. Once people get upset at one another, rational thinking goes out of the window.
ONE STEP BACK TO CALM
One has to get a grip by practicing self-control over anything which breeds negativity. The bad vibes swirl in like some dust storm blinding you, as you play out the storyline repeatedly in your mind. You have the power to take the reins of those thoughts and move them in the direction you want them to go, out with the rest of the trash. If you allow bad thoughts to get the best of you, then you are in for a rude awakening. Unwelcome thinking not only leads you down the path of destruction, but you ultimately meet up with the pathway of regret.
It’s important for you to step back. Head for the great outdoors, bask in the sunlight, and take a deep breath to calm the nerves. Especially, whenever you’re pushed to where you’d rather not go or to a place you prefer not to be. How can you achieve peace when you give in to emotional entanglements? It will not be easy, but you can reach a state of calm once you change direction. Change your focus. Change those thoughts. What you dwell on is a choice. You decide which path to follow.
Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.
STEPS TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS:
ONE
We can refer to a thought replacement technique. With any negative thinking, which causes bad feelings, we can choose to push the bad thoughts out of mind and replace them with positive reflections, affirmations, prayers, and meditations.
TWO
Have faith and believe there’s meaning behind what you’re going through, a higher purpose. One which ushers you away from the experience, and creates within you a better, wiser, and happier person.
THREE
Refuse to bottle the emotion. If it were a perfume or a cologne, would you buy it? Bottled emotions only lead to outbursts. Best to step back and away from the conflict, whether internal or external, and force yourself to take a timeout. The pause will give you an opportunity to think rationally.
FOUR
Struggling to contain the anger? Perhaps it’s time to release it through writing. When we write out what consumes our thoughts, we can then let it go. You can use a notebook, journal, diary, or just record your thoughts on a plain piece of scrap paper. Writing it out helps us put things into context. It also gives us time to chill out. Unfortunately, there will always be another occasion to resume a heated debate and to challenge a negative remark… or not.
FIVE
It’s important we envision a positive outcome, instead of allowing for the negative thinking to dominate and control who we are and how we respond. Our intent should always be to focus on solutions. A negative mindset will always invite something detrimental, allowing something within the friendship, partnership, or relationship to spiral out of control. These reactionary heated responses will only lead to regretful consequences. Whereas, a positive mindset will steer us clear toward an agreeable outcome.
SIX
Let’s face it, sometimes we simply need to avoid unpleasant situations, unpredictable people, and uncertain places altogether, before we can tap into a balanced state of emotion. Anything negative will only bring out the worst and take us to places we don’t belong.
SEVEN
Time to get real. Create your happiness by tapping into positive energy. Instead of harboring thoughts which sends you into emotional turmoil, choose to free yourself from negativity. Just remember, there is your side, their side, and then there’s the truth. When you live your truth and compromise creatively nothing else matters.