Stuck in a Bad Relationship for the Sake of a Relationship?

What do you see? A happy couple? Content? Pleased? In love? Be honest. What do we expect from the people we associate with and what do we neglect to consider? Could it be things aren’t as they seem or the way we would like them to be? When all is said and done, we attract who we are. Our self-confidence and self-worth will determine where a relationship will go. It depends on how we view ourselves with or without them. This is when it gets complicated, tricky, and somewhat dicey. Why do so many of us get stuck in a bad relationship?

Occasionally we become confused only to get lost. Lost in what others tell us. Lost in someone else’s story. But sometimes we just get lost believing something is when it really isn’t. Deceptive with ourselves. Personally, there’s a time when getting lost could be the best thing for us. Especially, when we wander away from something that isn’t so great and can’t find our way back to the heartbreak, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, there are those who continuously return only to repeat the same old patterns and negative cycles to end up stuck in a bad relationship.

So let’s get to the story, shall we? It was a beautiful sunny August morning; we headed for our favorite campsite. We drove caravan style with everyone following in procession. It was the final long weekend of summer. When all of us arrived, one vehicle was missing. What? Where are they? Too bad everyone had spotty cell phone signals except for one who refused to give up. He walked for miles until he somewhat connected. And when he returned, he had this to say, “They turned around.” Three little words which revealed a great deal.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO, BUT WHAT’S EVEN HARDER IS STAYING STUCK IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP

Like the spotty cell phone signal, was this erratic, on-again, off-again turbulent love affair. It didn’t matter when, where, or with whom, someone within the union always ended up canceling a flight, a reservation, and yes, even camping trips. They were who they were, and we all accepted it for what it was… utter nonsense. Everyone knew they weren’t a match. We all seen it, sensed it, and to be honest, we all felt uneasy whenever they were around, and even anxious when they weren’t. The problem was everyone knew except for them. We knew they were stuck in a bad relationship. For whatever reason, they were both lost… in each other. Not a great place to be when things aren’t working out.

The way someone is or isn’t is something we should know. Are they into us or aren’t they? It’s not only a matter of how it’s affecting the said relationship but how it’s influencing the people around them. If a relationship becomes unstable, then it’s time to close the chapter, period, end of story. But what happens when both prolong the pain? Here’s my two cents: “just move on already!”

Unfortunately, what usually occurs with the passage of time is it draws in other members of the group until there’s no group left. Ultimately, what was regarded at one time to be tight friendships all around, disintegrated because people stopped showing up. They took sides instead. They declined events, spur-of-the-moment gatherings, dinner parties, and movie nights. 

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART

Inevitably, the large group broke up into small groups with those on his side opposing those on her side. And let’s not forget those who simply just had enough with the nonsense. I was the one who had enough. He called me with his story; she called with hers, and well, I called it as I saw it. I called out, “Enough.” And told them both, “Get a life.”

Consistent drama leads to fragmentation and breakage. I know because I have witnessed it time after time. Doesn’t matter how rock solid things appear on the surface, somewhere there’s a hairline fracture that eventually deepens over time. With everyone falling into the gap. Whenever forced to experience episodes of he said she said we lose track. I didn’t understand why everyone became entangled in someone else’s story. “People, what’s going on here, why is this topic the only one we have the tendency to be so obsessed with,” I shouted. Ok, I lost my cool. However, I received everyone’s attention, and they duly noted my point of view. 

Eventually, I finally figured it out. Who doesn’t love those soap opera affairs? This is where we take in tender tidbits of juicy info which becomes entertainment for whoever loves the gossip. Nevertheless, what bothered me the most about this entire situation was even though the said couple weren’t present… they always were.