Take Your Time

Ooh – the power of evoking interest. We captured someone’s undivided attention – now what? There are three words of wisdom I will impart. Take your time. Seriously… take your time.

KNOWING YOU KNOWING THEM… TAKES TIME

Let’s get to the basics. At the core, a good relationship is a matter of knowing you knowing them. This is when time is of essence. The first thing to ask prior to getting involved is: Is what I’m searching for out there? What are my expectations? Once you have this out of the way, you need to consider the suitability of the person you’re attracted to. Will they be receptive to dating for a spell, or will they have sordid and superficial intentions? How will you ever know if you don’t give it time? 

Let’s just cut to the chase. Will you get to know them before delving into some precarious state where things hang by a thread? I’m telling you – you have to be sure. It takes more than a spark. It comes down to clarity, along with being intentionally discerning. This is you separating the wheat from the chaff.

Is it possible to get all caught up in some seductive moment? Without question. But if we are short on common sense, there will be no problem engaging the wrong people. In fact, you can tell you’re doing it wrong if you only attract unsuitable admirers. For every one right person out on the dating scene, there are at least ten you meet who are far from serious contenders. Even though I pulled this number out of a hat, it holds merit. 

THE DRAWING CARD

What’s with attracting the wrong people? Could it be we’re giving off the wrong vibes, mixed signals of sorts? I get it – we all do it. After all, what elicits interest? It’s when one sports overt sexiness, deliberate or not. Which, I might add, may not benefit us one iota. With that said, I have to ask. Is what you show working for you? No different from show and tell. Remember that classroom activity when you attended elementary school? With presentation, what we show… tells. It tells a great deal. Just saying.

IS THIS THE BEST VERSION? BE HONEST

There’s also what distinguishes you from the rest. What sets you apart? Is it positive or is it flitting into the danger zone? Perhaps it’s leaning toward questionable. Is it in good taste? Is it respectable? Do you know? Take your time and the time you take will help you to figure it out.

We are in control of what we say and do. In charge of the way we speak, act, dress. The way we present the entire package may lead to great things or not so great things. In a nutshell, it’s all about choices. Are you projecting your best version? If not, why not? I know – tough questions, but we have to go there. When you love and respect yourself, it’s apparent.

TAKE YOUR TIME… BUT, WHO HAS TIME TO WASTE

I get that. The thing is, we can’t convince everyone to do what’s right. Plus, what’s right for me, may or may not be right for you. After the attraction, beyond someone’s physical assets, I assure you, there’s time. It boils down to our pace and the time we take to get to know the other person. Similar to a book, there’s the cover and there’s the content. We are drawn to appearance. But what I’m alluding to here is behind the cover, apart from the eye-candy. I’m curious. Is there more to you than meets the eye? Is there more to the one you’re interested in? I hope the answer is yes on both counts. We are far greater than the sum of our parts. It’s easy to view a cover, but it takes a little more time to find out whether the content is good enough.

KNOW THYSELF

I’m not kidding. Anyone just putting themselves out there nonchalantly, with disregard for what’s right, may miss out. Decent people have no interest in dating reckless desperation. This does not differ from someone initially attracted to a book’s cover; however, upon closer inspection, realizing there’s no substance, they place the book back on the shelf. Imagine you back on the shelf. Or worse, in the discount bin, collecting dust. This will leave you questioning whether you’re using inappropriate tactics or the wrong dating app. But let’s get real. It’s not only the dating site or the dating app. It’s what we put out there. The thing is, once you have a good handle on who you are, you’ll attract the one who’s right for you. And this only happens when you take your time.